Sept. 5 2010 Symptom description for M.S. blog

Like many items in regard to this blog I intended to do this piece long ago.
There are a number of symptoms that have come and gone over the years which I will blog later. Now my focus is the present for there are changes in abilities I am noticing day to day.
Starting with my head and working down.
- cognition – I used to be quite good at comparison analysis. (Scheduling etc.). I could just look at several schedules of 3 teachers and knowing the times & dates we needed arranged I could easily and quite quickly draw out a schedule for a week. Once drawn out any unforeseen clashes were obvious to me. That skill is all but gone. I ‘m only able to do the task now if I use small note papers I can move around and reposition over and over. Even with that. What would have taken me 10 to 20 minutes is now several hours to complete. The problem is holding on to one thought while developing, analyzing (possibilities) & comparing it to another, or several others. I just don’t have the cognitive sticky note power I used to have. Mentally I have become a one trick pony; A SLOW one trick pony. {the skill is slow but not gone!}
- This could be the probable cause of my frustration at the times I am interrupted when I am speaking, listening, or thinking because the thought just drops. It is completely gone and I can’t recall it. I must start over at the point just prior to me speaking. And that does not always happen. It is similar to loosing your train of thought except now it happens more often/easily when there are distractions & /or interruptions. This comparison analysis glitch makes the decision making process slow and frustrating (it is a good thing I have my favorite color memorized)!
Recently I had an experience that got me thinking that the currently unencumbered parts of my brain are doing good things. I was resting and had a lucid dream. (That’s when you are aware that you are dreaming). I was doing a comparative analysis in my dream & doing quite well. It was a new task I was not familiar with and suddenly I thought wow! I can’t do that when I am awake. And I woke up.
That was encouraging to me. I thought maybe if I could learn to think in subconscious mode I could do other things that are now kind of slow. It also made me wonder if that skill has a specific home in my brain that is glitchy but that other parts can mimic & take over the job.
- One other cognitive glitch I call an auditory processing delay. It first occurred early on at the beginning of my first discernible relapse. I will describe it first;
I was passing a room with several teachers in it. I heard the sounds “owrd, word. rodw, word, word” just scrambled sounds. Then “Mrs. Walker” 3 steps later I heard clearly; as if they were repeating it, “Watch out for that” and I remembered the Mrs. Walker. It was a typical thing for a certain teacher friend to say. The experience was spooky and I have not had a similar experience that was so distinctive. I do however have problems when a person talks real fast and seldom breathes. I am discerning the words but the meaning’s not usually understood for a few moments. Once again if I don’t stay focused on what I heard & then get distracted, the meaning is lost.
Below my head I could just say left side but that sounds like paralysis. So let’s say weak, w/ slow responses and in accurate movements. My hand and fingers are clumsy and not entirely reliable. Keyboarding requires a lot of backspace and delete activity. Luckily my spell checker is good.
My left leg is weaker than before but strong enough to keep me walking. My challenge is not to go so fast that my delayed action leg can’t keep me balanced. The spasticity in that leg, I call them ‘tugs’ starts in the middle of my rump muscle, goes down the center back of my thigh, through the center of my calf, under my heel & foot and to all my toes but pinky & big toe. There are other tugs that go down both my inner & outer muscles and the left side of my lower back but they are not so stiff. That main tug makes my gait (style of walking) jerky and fatiguing. It also holds my foot in an almost constantly pointed position again messing up my gait.(and unintentionally kicking unsuspecting objects/people.
I had another tug that is gone now. The placement is hard to describe but it pulled at my leg so that it swung out to the side when I stepped forward. My need for balance & making room for the pointed foot also encouraged the swing out since my knee didn’t flex much at all. I walked like a pirate but I had both legs. I began to concentrate on bending my leg while lifting my leg higher so my toe wouldn’t catch. I didn’t trip or swing any more but the tug pulled my leg down with a stomp with every step. Now I had a new gait. The several anti spasticity med.s had done nothing to help. After I had been on infusion therapy for 3 infusions (Tysabri) I began to feel some lessening of all my tugs. It became easier to walk w/o the swinging gait. The stomp is still with me but easier to control. I do best when I take my walking practice seriously and do my evening walk. I go slowly thinking about my movements and keeping them controlled. I can go more quickly if I use my cane. But I see more benefit from walking slowly & thoughtfully. I take my cane with me for dogs & teeters that turn to totters but I don’t actively rely on it.