Friday, August 22, 2008

8-22-08 Tired and no reason

Morning- Well morning is the first part of your day right? For me it is still morning. Everything from my forehead to my fingers is moving slowly today. From shoulders to elbows is heavy feeling.
Is it possible to just dream that you had a completes night of sleep? I must have been awakened a few times without remembering it Dr.Becker said effective quality sleep for me should be 8 hours uninterrupted. I must have been interrupted a few times. I certainly don't feel rested. My affected leg(my weak left one) feels stiffer today. The muscles that received the Botox are softer. But the hamstring further to my left is tight and I can feel a few tugs every now and then. That is an unusual thing. I generally can't feel the spasticity unless I am using the muscle (walking). Even then it is just part of the walking motion and not distinctly detectable. I notice it when my leg kicks walls, corners, boxes, anything more to my left than directly in front. Strange I know.It is like a din0saur with a separate brain for it's tail. I really only have one. There are just parts of it hat ACT independently. At least it seems like that part has no idea what is happening in the rest of my brain.
That my friend is a long winded detailed description of a BBD{Bad Brain Day} or at least todays version. I really have nothing else to call it. Every thought is fitted together as if each piece were the weight of an Egyptian Pyramid. The reason this post even begins to resemble accuracy is due to backspace, delete, & insert keys as well as the ever present spelling high lighter. Oh, I forgot to mention time. Lots and lots of time. Remember rush=ruin.
there is one other aspect which could be impacting me today. My shot, or lack of it. It is only Fri. but this is the beginning of the sludgy slide to Tue. when I have such a struggle until I get my shot. I used to get two shots per week; Tues. & Fri. Because of that Dr. B thought Rebiff would be a better choice since it is almost chemically identical but is taken in smaller more frequent doses. Good thought but it didn't pan out. I had a depressive effect from the med. so Dr. Becker stopped it. Good idea I think. I was O.K. on the Rebiff but I did not feel as much energy as with Avonex. As the story continues I go back on the Avonex but now my Insurance won't O.K. 2 injections per week. To be honest. I haven't been back to the level point I was when I left Avonex for the Rebiff.
I need to tell Dr. Becker, but I just barely saw her. She always does follow up appointments on Thursdays so I'm still holding my own. I have got to find a way to explain this to her and see if we can put in a request to a two shot approval.
P.S. My Avonex came today so I'm set for 4 more weeks!

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